- No need to fire up the stove or even pack your griddle. Eggs will fry right on the 104-degree sidewalk.
- The house that you will see tomorrow is the clean version, all appearances to the contrary.
- Usually we bow and offer blood sacrifices to our HD plasma television before retiring, but we are suspending those services in deference to your anticipated sensibilities.
- The dozens of small, hard rubber balls scattered at strategic locations underfoot are not actually intended to cause injury; they are "pretend Easter eggs."
- There are ginormous mutant moths plastered on the outside of the house:
Polyphemus silkworm moth, about 5.5 inch wingspan
We do not think they will try to mate with humans.
- Noel will transform random bits of TV dialogue and commercial jingles into similar-sounding popular songs, with or without requests.
- Cady Gray has underpants. Please be advised: Cady Gray has underpants.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
My life: A visitor's guide
Some things the Secret Knitter ought to know before he arrives tomorrow: