Wednesday, August 8, 2007

My life: A visitor's guide

Some things the Secret Knitter ought to know before he arrives tomorrow:
  • No need to fire up the stove or even pack your griddle. Eggs will fry right on the 104-degree sidewalk.

  • The house that you will see tomorrow is the clean version, all appearances to the contrary.

  • Usually we bow and offer blood sacrifices to our HD plasma television before retiring, but we are suspending those services in deference to your anticipated sensibilities.

  • The dozens of small, hard rubber balls scattered at strategic locations underfoot are not actually intended to cause injury; they are "pretend Easter eggs."

  • There are ginormous mutant moths plastered on the outside of the house:

    Polyphemus silkworm moth, about 5.5 inch wingspan

    We do not think they will try to mate with humans.

  • Noel will transform random bits of TV dialogue and commercial jingles into similar-sounding popular songs, with or without requests.

  • Cady Gray has underpants. Please be advised: Cady Gray has underpants.


the secret knitter said...

Some things Donna B. ought to know before I arrive tomorow:
-I prefer my eggs fried on blacktop rather than concrete.
-I'm sure your home is plenty clean.
-Sweetness always goes good with creaminess, or so TV taught me.

Justin Ray said...

I don't know that there is anything you need to know about me and Kerry before meeting us for refreshing beverages at sufficient grounds...other than the fact that I work at Starbucks.