La regle de jeu

Every parent knows how difficult it is to keep up with multiple conversations all at once. Here's a reconstructed transcript of our drive home from dinner this evening:

CG: Okay, Mom, I'm going to write down a letter and number on this Magnadoodle. When you tell me the number, you can give me the whole number. Got it?

Me: (doesn't get it) Got it.

Archer: (pretending to play the video poker game he watched at the restaurant) There is $420,000 in the pot.

Me: What are your hole cards?

Archer: They are ... what?

CG: Here's the letter and number, Mom. (Passes a Magnadoodle reading "H-8" to the front seat)

Me: What are your hole cards?

Archer: They are the king of hearts and the queen of hearts. Lickey has a two of diamonds and an ace of spades.

Me: In a real game of poker, you wouldn't be able to see your opponent's cards.

CG: Okay, Mom -- H!

Me: (not knowing what to do) Um, H!

CG: No, H!

Archer: It's $43,500 to call. Lickey has $200.

Me: (still confused) H!

CG: No, Mom! I said H! Now you say the number!

Me: Oh, eight!

Archer: Here's the flop: three of diamonds, three of spades, three of clubs.

Me: No hearts, too bad.

Archer: But I have a three.

CG: Okay, Mom, six!

Me: I thought you had a king of hearts and a queen of hearts.

CG: (consulting a road atlas) Six!

Archer: No, I have a king of hearts and a three of hearts.

Me: (unsure) Um, seven?

CG: No, put the numbers together!

Me: So you have a pair of threes, Archer?

Archer: No, I have four of a kind!

CG: Mom, put the numbers together!!

Me: Oh, okay ... eighty-six?

Archer: The turn is a four of spades.

Me: That doesn't help you, but you've already got four of a kind, apparently.

CG: That's right! Now here's the next one.

Archer: The river card is a joker for diamonds and hearts.

CG: Magnadoodle! Mom, Magnadoodle please!