Cutest Google Alert ever

Like all vain people, I have a Google Alert for my name. That's how I know about my supporting role in this 2/3 disturbing, 1/3 heartwarming story out of Richmond, Virginia: Man who stole kitten guilty of misdemeanor.

The reporter tsk-tsks over the light sentence received by the perp, Carlos Marshall, who stole a kitten named Ernie from the local Humane Society. Marshall said that he fell in love with Ernie but couldn't afford the $100 adoption fee, so he sneaked out with the kitten. A volunteer saw him and informed SPCA officials, who left a message on Marshall's answering machine. Marshall called them back and arranged a meeting to hand Ernie back over.

Doesn't sound like the actions of a hardened criminal to me, but the story is full of righteous indignation about how the book couldn't be thrown at Marshall, as he clearly deserved, because cat theft is a misdemeanor in Virginia (although dog theft is a felony). Luckily the SPCA chief is making a push to increase the penalties for cat-snatching, reintroducing legislation now dubbed "Ernie's Law."

Where do I come in? I'm the "all's well that ends well" part at the end:

While yesterday's trial may not have ended with the desired outcome for Starr, all seems to have worked out well for Ernie.

He subsequently was adopted by Rachel Bowman, and he now spends his days waiting for the 14-year-old Chesterfield girl to return home from school.

"The second she walks in the door, he leaps up on her," Donna Bowman said of a cat that her daughter has renamed Louie.

"He jumps right into her arms just like a baby. This one wants to be in your arms -- not my arms but hers. It definitely knows who its caretaker is, and it's definitely Rachel."

Louie?! I hate to say it, but Rachel just dealt a fatal blow to the whole movement. Nobody's going to vote for a bill called "Ernie aka Louie's Law." It sounds like a push for stricter penalties on assaults against fifties mobsters.